Sunday Funday... Day Four

Today was really nice.  Not necessarily all that productive... but really nice none the less.  Woke up to morning greetings from the man and continued by watching an amazing documentary entitled "The Butch Factor" and it is a documentary about masculinity within gay culture.  Really good and filled with lots of cute guys kissing and just being in love.  I highly recommend it anyone.  You can watch it for free at www.logotv.com under their documentaries section!

Next I was off to a silent brunch with friends that wasn't that exciting.  Came back and did homework and watched ghost tv and scary movies.  I don't know what it is about scary stuff that pulls me in.  I hate it!  I have an overactive imagination that usually results in me not being able to sleep.  But whenever it is on TV I have to watch it; especially if its on in the daytime... for some reason its less scary that way... Next I was off to a recital that was really nice, but a little long, and I got very warm and sleepy and I dozed off a couple of times. oops...

Came back and hung with my best friend Maija and we joked (me on paper, her out loud) and finally decided that we should go out for some much needed food at Dong Po.  We really needed some sushi in our life.  Boy did it taste delicious and I also had a new dish.  Chicken and shrimp with mixed vegetables in a spicy brown sauce... super good.

Highlight of the night? Watching "The Amazing Race" with Maija and the man... so good and so funny.  I really can't wait to apply... I would kill to be on that show.  Maija and I have always wanted to go, but its also the BF's favorite show too... I don't know if any of you have ever looked at the application, but its crazy. So many crazy stupid questions...  I'll do a little survey: Should I apply to be on Survivor or Amazing Race?  Let me know.

Not many new discoveries today, just that I can't stop uncontrollably speaking.  Its usually only one little phrase or comment, but still its really frustrating because I am actually trying my hardest.  I'm not even laughing like I usually do because I really want this thing to shrink.  I really don't know what I'll do if I have to get surgery.  I have everything planned out just so for a little bit now and this could throw a HUGE kink into it.  I'm trying not to get down about it and its really hard without my family around for it.  I know they would all kill to be with me and at the appointments, but its a part of growing up I guess.  Thank god for the man, I really don't know what I'd do without him.  My friends too, they keep me in amazing spirits and really help the hours pass. 

I hope you guys are enjoying reading this as much as I miss talking... lol

Love y'all
~The Gay Mute

Saturday... Day Three

Today has been pretty good... I got to sleep in and I took my meds and that's when I finally realized what the Dr. mean when he said that my steroid meds could make me energized... all of a sudden all my laundry was done and my room was clean and I was ready to do more!!!!  If you know me, you know that I never clean or do laundry... but these medsgive me the will-power to do so.  Luckily the man of dreams came next and we spent a wonderful day together: eating, shopping, and just hanging out.  He also bought Wall-E, and forced me to watch it... since I'd never seen it.  It is pretty cute and I almost cried... I would watch it again.

I also got to catch up on my tv watching and finally just have a day to myself.  I still catch myself speaking every now and again.  It just happens!!! I can't seem to control it.  Also, for those of you who know me well, you know how fast I eat.  This is not beneficial when you can't cough or clear your throat because you often swallow to large of chunks or it goes down the wrong pipe... ugh...

So far I haven't gone crazy yet, and its not been as bad as I may have originally anticipated.  Communicating is getting easier, and many people, as soon as I don't respond to them, immediately exclaim "vocal rest?" and I nod and they understand!  I guess that's a huge positive to going to a liberal arts school that has such a well regarded conservatory... people just get it.

It is really fun going out in public because I think some people actually think I'm deaf since I will sign "Thank you" to them.  I have a cousin who was born deaf and so I know some ASL and will sometimes sign things instead.  But, if I am deaf, I am the weirdest deaf person ever, because I understand what they're saying, I just can't respond.  In fact, one of the cooks at HuHot actually asked my BF how to sign "Your Welcome" since I had signed "Thank you".  He didn't know, and, oddly, I don't know either, but it was funny either way.  If any of you wonderful, beautiful people know hot to sign "You're Welcome" please let me know so that I can not only acknowledge those who are kind, but also so my brain will grow!!!

One minor downside to this whole no speaking, drink lots of water thing... I have to pee ALL THE TIME!!! Ugh, I am getting so tired of that freaking bathroom... but I might as well get used to it, i don't think its going to change much over the next couple of days.

I suppose I could wrap it up there for the day... Its been a really nice day, and I look forward to just taking each day as it comes...

Love y'all!

~The Gay Mute

Friday... Day Two

Well... today has been interesting... Staying silent hasn't really been the problem... The real problem is communication!  I carry a small notebook with me and it works, but its very slow and I feel really stupid using it.

Well, I finally got to talk to my voice teacher, Mr. Bozeman, about my vocal issues.  He is trying to stay very positive, but he also thinks that in the long run, I will have to have surgery.  I will return to the doctor to see how my week of vocal rest has treated my bump... Predictions are that the bump will shrink, but whether or not it will have shrunk enough to no long cause problems is another issue.

Enough depressing stuff, let's move onto discoveries and interesting things...

It really funny when I am communicating to people, because for some reason they also feel like they can't talk either... Don't worry friends, you can talk all  you want, and I will happily respond in any way I can.  Yes and No questions are the easiest, but I'll try to do my best...

Also... I never realized how much I hum or vocalize throughout the day... I am constantly finding myself about to hum or make little noises to the music or the TV...

I also challenge each and everyone of to try and not respond when someon says "bless you" after you sneeze... last night without even trying, I immediately responded "Thank you" and then grabbed my throat out of frustration...

Well I think that's enough for now.  I look forward to a relaxing weekend... I am not going on the retreat for the musical I'm in so as to relax and heal and not put myself through my own personal hell...

I hope to hear from all you lovely people!

~The Gay Mute

Day One

Well hello there friends!  Today, 9/30/10, I found out that I have a mature bump on my Right Vocal Fold... The doctor has placed me on total vocal rest for a week.  No singing.  No talking.  No nothing.  Wow... this is probably the biggest challenge I have ever had in my life... 

I'm trying to stay positive about the who situation and am looking at it as a personal experiment.  I guess I now know what Ariel feels like in The Little Mermaid... luckily I already have my amazing man who is not afraid to kiss me... lol

But I digress.  My hope is to try and blog at least once if not a couple times a day with little discoveries I have made or advancements in my life. 

So far I have discovered that it is much easier to type my words than try and write them in a notebook or on a whiteboard.  But I also don't want to carry my laptop around with me all the time... its heavy and has a sucky battery life... Oh well... I will figure something out...

Question I have so far? Why is my throat a little soar when I literally haven't spoken since 2 pm.  And I've been drinking water like its... well, water... lol

Thank god I have professors who are totally understanding, because classes and rehearsal could be really complicated if I didn't...

Well I think that's a good first post... Make sure you check back and see whats going on in the life of the Gay Mute!

"Dream as if you'll live forever; Live as if you'll die today!" ~James Dean

~The Gay Mute